Mea Culpa

Dearest Blog,

Please accept my humble apologies. I’ve been ignoring you. You seemed like such a good idea in the beginning; our world was full of hope and promise. But now, you remind me of the Chia Pet I tried to grow, or the time I vowed to teach myself to play the guitar. You’re nothing but a symbol of my failure to follow through on my life plans. 

My guitar sits dusty and unloved in my closet and is a shame known only to myself. But you – YOU’RE out here on the internet for anyone to see. A big, gleaming beacon of my laziness.

I don’t know what to tell you. I could lie and say that life has been “crazy” and I haven’t had time. In actuality, I recently acquired seasons 1 and 2 of Gossip Girl on DVD and that’s pretty much taken priority over everything else.

Obviously, as evidenced by my infatuation with spoiled Upper East Side teens, my whole “change your life!” scheme is not unfolding as I thought it would. But really, who was I kidding?

Here is a list of things I have begun, with high hopes, and soon after let fall by the wayside:

• The aforementioned self-made guitar guru dream. I can still only play the first ten seconds of Nirvana’s “Come As You Are”. It’s been two years.  
• Learning Spanish. 
• Budgeting. 
• Learning to properly fold a fitted sheet (that shit is hard!). 
• Creating a life list of 100 things to do before I die. It’s like a bucket list, but not named after a terrible movie. And I only got to 34.

And what are we to learn from this? Nothing, I suppose. The only thing I’ve learned this week is that Penn Badgley is stupid hot. But it was a lesson well worth learning.

I’ll try to be better, Blog. But I promise nothing.